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The vibrator as we know has had quite the interesting history to say the very least. The first vibrator on record was created in 1869 and was steam powered (believe it or not). This device was created to take care of what was then called “female hysteria”. Of course this stems from the subservient role that women used to have to men. When that “time of the month” came the women got, as they still do, cranky and “harder to handle”. Medical professionals going back as far as Hippocrates (this is where we get the term hypicratic oath from) believing that this so-called hysteria was derived from the womb rebelling or revolting again being sexually deprived. The goal of the genital massage was to induce what they called “hysterical paroxysm” or more commonly known today as an orgasm.
If the women was in a clear mood that resembled being distraught or mentally on edge that this sexual deprivation was the cause and it needed a release. Genital massage existed as a way to relieve this tension prior to the invention of the vibrator. Vibrators were portable, reliable and a modern day convenience that many turn of the century doctors were all for. Of course the doctors were all for this device because it allowed them to help more women thusly creating a larger client base. The days of a woman going to her doctor in order to relieve the hysteria is long gone.
The vibrator could be found in any store in the world but they were, and still are, called personal massagers. As time went on technology improved greatly. Vibrators were starting to be made out of revolutionary plastics, better motors and the like. Eventually synthetic skins were created and vibrators began to look and feel more like a real penis. The way the vibrator even worked was changed. Now they can pulse, have variable setting and the tips can even rotate.
Many women enjoy the use of a vibrator because it can never give up on them. It won’t stop working once it “finishes”. You will never hear a woman having a headache to her little toy. Men – it is our responsibility to make sure that are women are satisfied. We aren’t machines and for most of use once and done is how we roll. It doesn’t have to be this way though! The vibrator can be a tool for us to help satisfy our women.
1. Use the vibrator on your partner! This isn’t only sexy but very fulfilling for your partner. Manually manipulating your partner can make for great mutual masturbation sessions as well as showing her that you do care about her and relieving her “hysteria”.
2. The vibrator makes a great edition to oral sex as well. As you are performing oral sex on your partner put the vibrator under your tongue. It will make your tongue into a mini personal massager that she will really respond to.
3. When you are performing intercourse use the vibrator to your advantage! A small vibrator is your best bet here. If you have one that slides on your thumb that would be ideal. Place the vibrator onto the woman’s clitoris as you are moving in and out of her.
4. Foreplay is key to achieving a large, earth-shattering orgasm. As you are beginning the “love dance” use your arms, hands, mouth and tongue to explore your partner. Use the vibrator to enhance your touch. Slide the vibrator over her body as you kiss her skin. Use the vibrator over her nipples as your hands wander between her thighs and so on.
Guys – I can’t say this loud enough so listen up! Do not be offended that your partner owns a vibrator or uses it. I mean, you look at porn – right? Same thing. It just enhances the experiences and is not a replacement for you. Instead of acting offended you can surprise her by putting it to use.

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Loss of Sexual Libido in Men can be Serious Business

What? Men can have a headache? Sure! I know it has long since been the tradition for the woman to feign a headache (and even her monthly visitor) to avoid sex. Men can lose libido and this is a situation that is being talked about more and more over the last several years. Ever since Viagra has hit the market the idea that men can have issues is out in the mainstream. A woman avoiding sex is rather normal where as a man doing the same is out of this world crazy. Men tend to avoid admitting a lowering of sexual desire fearing that they may be labeled unfavorably. Nearly 16% of men suffer from some sort of loss of libido so there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Even though it is more common for a woman to lose libido it isn’t as hard on them as it is for the men. Only one fourth of the men that have a low libido have admitted to enjoying life. That means that nearly 75% of men are ashamed about it. This affliction does not happen overnight. Losing your libido is something that can happen over a very small period of time or over the course of years. This is not all that easy to explain as there can be many factors that lead to this problem among men.

Where once your mind was active with all things sexual toward your partner you no longer have those thoughts or, if you do, they are far and few between.

Loss of libido in men can be a myriad of issues that can include, chemical, physical and medicinal. Even psychological issues can cause a loss of sexual thoughts and activity. Your testosterone levels may be off, you may be suffering from depression or anxiety, you may not be happy with your own sexual prowess. There is also the possibility that medications you are taking are the cause of your lack of sexual desire. Some of these drugs will directly affect your libido. Many drugs that are prescribed for heart disease, depression and blood pressure can all cause a change in libido and cause erectile dysfunction. Recreational drugs can also be a cause of lack of desire such as marijuana, cocaine and heroin.

The relationship you have with your significant other can also cause you to have a lack of sexual desire. Perhaps your tastes have changed and you are no longer excited by the humdrum sex life they are stuck in. You may also be the victim of a cheating loved one in which case disgust and depression can certainly play a part in being not wanting to have sex with your partner. Many personal issues will easily spill over to the bedroom making it difficult to want sex. Many new dads have this weird phobia bout having sex after a birth. This is because the mind no longer views the mother as someone who is sexual. With this in mind he may be responsible for caring for your baby which can be very draining.
Sex is not about quantity as much as it is about quality. When you look forward to having sex and you happen to enjoy it you will begin to feel positive about it and your relationship. Keep these statements in mind:

Never expect that every sexual encounter you have will be spot on. I know it’s difficult but just laugh it off and move on. You will eventually get everything to work out with your partner.

Stay healthy. Being physically fit will not only help with your confidence in the bedroom but will also increase your libido and end your erectile dysfunction if that’s what you are suffering from.

Maybe you are just feeling stale in the sack. If this is the case then try out sexual fantasies to see if that helps your problem. Tell your partner what things turn you on and allow your partner to do the same things. Communication in a relationship is always very important.

Don’t stay in one singular area. When you are having sex do not just get in and get out with your partner. If you are not performing up to spec then it is your job to at least let your partner achieve satisfaction or else you run the risk of being accused of being not interested. The genital region of your partner is not the only location that feels good so explore.

Whenever you get the chance try to see your partner in a different way. Look at her differently. Try to find that spark that made you attracted to her in the first place.
Unfortunately we sometimes forget why we love someone and we just need a little reminder.

Talk to a doctor. I know that having sexual issues can be embarrassing but it doesn’t have to be. It’s a very natural thing that happens to a lot of men. Your doctor may be able to help. Your medicines could be causing it or it’s psychological. They are there to help so ask for it.

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Relationships can relinquish the spark quite rapidly in the bedroom. This is what leads many couples down the break up road or cheating. Fantasies are a very healthy release and a great way to rekindle what once was there. Think of it as entering a brand new part of your life in a more sexually free lifestyle with the person that you love. A fantasy can come from any place in your imagination – some deep need, want or desire to do SOMETHING out of the ordinary. When the person you are with trusts you enough to share their fantasy with you then you are one lucky person.

Your fantasy can come from almost anywhere in the deep recesses of your mind. You can have a very vivid dream and you remember and then from that you have a fantasy seed planted that keeps growing. If you are with someone that is passive and suddenly they take charge by pushing you to the floor to ravage you wouldn’t that be exciting and new? Of course it would be! Maybe you are used to just laying down and getting it over with but now your lover wants to be more romantic, slow and methodical with how they make love. This is a welcomed change to the usual in, out and over routine previously. Your fantasy cold also involve toys, certain clothing and different settings. Roleplaying is also often utilized in your fantasy ideas.

Never let your partner’s fantasy upset you. This does not mean that you are inadequate! It just simply means they want to try something new and different inside the bedroom. I’m sure you would have some fantasies to share as well and now the door is open. Sharing your fantasies with someone is an ultimate showing of trust. Just be open with your partner and ask questions about their fantasy – learn more about it. If the fantasy doesn’t suit you for some reason then voice it and maybe you can come to an alternate idea that will be equally as satisfying.

So Just What is a Fantasy?

When one is first asked this question you may have visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in your head. You may think Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter but this isn’t the type of fantasy that you want to think about (or at least I hope not). A sexual fantasy can be pretty much anything outside of the normal character realm of the person doing imagining. There are many desires that we as human beings have as well as being very curious about certain things. We all have a sex fantasy at some point – it’s natural. The fantasy you dream about could mundane yet different for you like sex on a beach at sunset. Sure it’s romantic, not very original, but a fantasy regardless. On the other side of the coin you may fantasy about being in the middle of an orgy. A fantasy allows you to own your thoughts and desires and makes you able to take control over them in the “real” world. Some fantasies, obviously, won’t be fulfilled due to their nature or possible safety issues.

Women are notorious for thinking that they are immune to the sexual fantasy (as well as masturbating among other things). This, however, is not remotely the case as a woman can have fantasies just as much as us men. These women that claim to have never had a sexual fantasy most likely have had them but neglected to think they were at all sexual. When we fantasize it usually leads to masturbating to relieve the stress. Exploring the fantasies of your lover takes trust. You need to be really open with each other in order to fully share your wants, needs and desires. Be honest and loving when it’s brought up and don’t get offended by them.

Sexual Fantasies and Making Them Work

When you and your partner set out to follow through on a fantasy you have to begin by researching the fantasy by way of discussing it with your partner. Ask questions and learn what you can about their desire in as much detail as you can muster. When you have all the details and you are comfortable with them it is time to create a “date” to follow through with the fantasy unless doing it on a whim will prove to be more exciting for you. When you can plan your fantasy date you can be assured complete privacy. You’ll be able to rent a room or get a sitter for the children. You can turn off your cell phones or take the phone off the hook. Nothing sucks more than getting into it then being interrupted.

A Word of Caution

Remember that there as many different fantasies as there are people. You should always trust your own personal judgment when entering into fantasy play. Don’t go against your own personal values or beliefs if you really don’t wish to. If you have concerns over a particular fantasy please voice your concerns with your lover. There are some things that we all must draw the line at. There is no need to take risks to “get off” which can also include potentially ruining your relationship. If your fantasy is to have a threesome just don’t come home with a third person because without telling your other half your plans you are just cheating. Don’t set up your plain vanilla bedroom into a dark torture chamber while your husband is out getting ice cream. The goal here is to enhance your sex life with your lover and not kill it so always think before you act.

female orgasm

We as men aren’t exactly the sharpest tool in the box because we are constantly asking our partner if they had an orgasm and of course we need to dig deeper and ask how many. You would be surprised at how many women still are unsure if they have ever had an orgasm. My simple answer here is that if you have to ask then chances are you have not achieved orgasm.

The research that was conducted in order to bring this article to you includes accounts of sensations and feelings from different women. Your experience may be slightly different from theirs and that’s ok. You are your own person and as such you will orgasm differently than the woman next to you and some orgasms I mention may not be possible with you. It’s all just a matter of nature meets stimulation. If you want these orgasms to happen to you then it is important to talk to your lover. Explain to them what they are doing right and what they’re doing wrong and always be honest. We are big boys and we can handle it and I promise our ego may take a bruising from the bump but we could use some humble pie every now and then.

The Clitoris and the Orgasm

This is probably the most common of female orgasms. The actual clitoris can be a very sensitive orgasm so take it guys. When the clitoris is stimulated blood rushes to the area creating this sensitivity. Almost like the male penis the clitoris does in fact, become “erect” and the area begins to get warm. This sensation can travel from the pelvic area down to her legs and feet and up to her head. This stimulation will even cause the nipples to harden and become sensitive to stimulation and, oddly enough, can begin to lactate. The feeling from here can grow in intensity by causing the skin to become sensitive to the touch and warm to the point of perspiration.

You may find your lover getting light headed as the blood rushes upward. The blood rush can cause a woman to blush as well. If you are stimulating the clitoris correctly your lover could become dizzy and seem to be outside of their normal mind like they’re in their own little world. It’s not uncommon to hear guttural moans or screaming. The muscles are contracting in what feels like “waves” all over the vaginal area (as well as other parts of the body). In most case the clitoral orgasm will last only as long as it is being stimulated whereas other females will have orgasmic spasms or shudders after you’ve stopped manipulating the area.

Orgasm in the Vagina

Unlike the clitoral orgasm the vaginal orgasm is much more elusive. Many women find it nearly impossible to achieve orgasm via stimulation of the vagina. This is unfortunate because the orgasm is far more intense than that of the clitoral orgasm. When you are able to get a woman to the point of vaginal orgasm you will often get the “more” response and she’ll find it very difficult to stay still. She will begin to gyrate and buck on you and you’ll wind up confused and a little lost. This is the “tell” so to speak because it’s hard to fake shuddering and the ensuing spasms. This is typically followed by “Oh, God” and a variety of curse words. The orgasm feels like an explosion of the senses and as a man inside your lover you’ll be able to feel their muscles contracting as the fluids are released and subsequently flowing over you. The clitoris, after orgasm, is usually way too sensitive to stimulate further but this does not readily apply to the vaginal orgasm unless your partner has been overly exhausted by this orgasm to possibly handle another one. One you feel this orgasm occurring this is when you want to jump into overload and really move.

The Illusive G-Spot

I’m here to tell you guys out there that think it does not exist that, in fact, it does! It just is very, very hard to find because every woman has one but they’re not always in the same area. Many adult toy companies are producing toys to help us poor souls to find the g-spot. In fact this “mythical location” has been well documented since the 4^th century. In many women the location is hidden directly behind the clitoris and is inside the vaginal cavity. The actual area is small in size and has a “ribbed” texture to it. If you wish to find then just picture a clock in your head where the noon spot is toward her navel. The g-spot would be located, in many women, between eleven and one just a few inches within the vaginal area. As the woman’s sensation increases so will the size of this area and the “ribs” will become more noticeable.

A clitoral orgasm is relatively easy to achieve but a g-spot orgasm will most likely require more pressure. This makes it difficult since the g-spot is located inside your lover and on top of the area you’re sliding in. This creates an awkward position for you to try and add pressure with your penis. The orgasm from the g-spot is often described a need to pee. Of course many people will stop stimulating the area in fear of an accident occurring. You will need time and patience to correctly identify the area of your lover’s g-spot but the end result is worth the effort. Test your location finding skills by exploring your lover with your fingers first. They are more tactile and texture-sensing than your penis is. Once you find her pelvic bone you can pull out your fingers until you find a smooth area located on the front wall of the vagina. This is the area that you are looking for and a sliding back and forth motion can achieve an orgasm that blows the mind. Always pay attention to her sensations and facial expressions. This type of orgasm is difficult to make happen just through normal intercourse as normal positions don’t allow the penis to make contact. There are, however, several positions from behind that do allow this.

In some cases a woman can actually ejaculate from a g-spot orgasm but female ejaculation is not subject to just this type of orgasm. If it does occur with you rest assured it is not urine. She did not just lose all control and give you a golden shower.

Can a Woman Really Ejaculate?

I’m sure you’ve seen adult films where the woman “squirts” or whatever and you wonder if it’s real. The answer is yes! After about two decades doctors are finally acknowledging this action. For many years people have said that this is not possible and that it is the woman urinating. Thankfully for us that is not the truth at all. Though rare it is very natural but not all women will ever get the chance to experience this sensation.

There is a gland known as the urethral sponge. This sponge wraps around the urethra inside the women. When the woman is aroused this sponge grows to the point where it effectively shuts off the woman’s ability to urinate. The fluid that is filling up the sponge due to sexual stimulation is much like a man’s prostatic fluid and is alkaline based. Whatever the case this female ejaculation can range from a little squirt to a flood. The fluid can be completely clear but can also be somewhat cloudy or milky white. Don’t be scared if during your orgasm you ejaculate – you may scare your lover a bit when he’s not expecting it but other than that there is no harm or foul. You may look at this trait as being abnormal but it’s not and men will find it somewhat exciting and special. If you are a woman that can ejaculate you may want to tell your lover about it just in case.

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Oral sex

The old myth was that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I am here to tell you that is not even close. Sure – we love to eat but the real path to our heart is from mind blowing oral sex. The trick is to making it good because I have, over the years, had some of the worst oral sex you could imagine. Of course you can’t tell them it’s bad but you can tell them, in a subtle manner, what you like. Of course this goes both ways so men should take the time to learn what you like too! This article, I hope, will show the beginners some key tricks to making that orgasm be as good as it should.

Oral sex

For the Beginner

First thing that needs to be addressed is that oral sex is not dirty, foul, disgusting nor is it immoral. I realize that many women are taught this by their parents of through their religious affiliations. Giving your lover oral sex does not make you “easy”, a “slut” or a “tease”. There are a lot of myths that circulate throughout high school with some being sort of plausible while others are just way out of this world. Unfortunately there are plenty of women that will have no problem allowing a man going down on them but mention word one about them returning the favor you might as well jump into a cold shower. Oral sex can enhance your relationship as well as entice your lover. Puritan ways are lost on us because we will give if we get. Other women are just scared about giving it for whatever reason. Ask yourself why you haven’t given oral sex to your lover or ask why you dislike it. If you like to get oral sex from your lover then it is only fair to return the favor. Some misconceptions you may encounter are:

*Sperm is dangerous. This is a very ludicrous thought. Sperm and semen are both very natural and are simply a form of complex protein. Other than being a little salty and the consistency being “weird” there is no danger from it.

*You can get pregnant. I cannot think of anything more ridiculous than the thought that oral sex can get you pregnant. This is a falsehood told by parents and clergy trying to get you to stop from participating in any sex act – oral or otherwise.

*”Blue Balls” can hurt the male. As a guy I have to give this a chuckle. This is article is about GIVING oral sex and enjoying it however many men will lie to you to get it – that I don’t like. One thing they will say is that “blue balls” can damage their reproduction or some other nonsense. Is it cool to get us all worked up without a payoff? Of course not. Will it damage us in any way? Only our ego.

With all of that said I think it’s time to get right into this.

Practice Your Craft

Like anything in life you need to practice it. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. Feel free to practice your technique on something similar to your partner’s penis like a cucumber or a vibrator. There are even some women (and men) that host oral sex parties with the distinct purpose of teaching women how to perform oral sex. They generally use dildos to simulate the penis so make sure you get the most realistic one you can find. Try to find one that is close to the size of your partner and if this doesn’t interest you then look online for “demonstrations” and “how to” videos. Feel free to watch adult videos as well because they will offer up some good visual hints.

Tease and Entice

Great oral sex and an awesome orgasm begins with mystery. Teasing the penis is a great way to stimulate the senses and make your man absolutely want it. Begin by gently touching the penis with your hands. Stoke and massage the area. If you are positioning yourself between his legs you can use your hair and your breasts to further manipulate the penis. As you are doing this you can kiss the head or up and down the shaft. Eventually you will use your tongue to trace the outline of the penis. There is no need to rush oral sex with your partner unless you are getting down and dirty someplace you shouldn’t. Remember that your saliva is a natural lubricant. There isn’t much worse than dry oral sex (except the obvious). What this all does is make him more excited – makes him want to feel your mouth all over him.

Time to Get Down to Business

Now that your lover is very erect and ready for you to go full force you can make a seamless transition using your tongue to slide up the shaft, twirl around the head then while he assumes you’re just going to tease him again you can plunge him into your mouth. You fill his penis jump in your mouth and your lover shudder with pleasure. I know this can be an exciting time for you because you can tell you are doing something very right. Take it easy – don’t let it make your jump the gun. Let the penis slowly out of your mouth letting your tongue circle it. Feel free to use your hands or breasts as well to stroke the penis as you pull away. The trick here to keep the penis in your mouth as you continuously slide it inside your mouth and using your tongue to further manipulate it. Apply some pressure and force behind your tongue and sucking by using your lips. You do not have to “deep throat” the penis if you don’t want to. Only take as much as you can without getting uncomfortable. The head of the penis is the most sensitive part but it’s fun if you use your teasing methods in combination with this full on approach.

It’s important to try and build a constant rhythm in order to achieve orgasm. Do try to keep your teeth behind your lips because scraping the penis with your teeth is a serious mood killer. Alternate between using your lips, your tongue and your hands to achieve the perfect sensation for your partner. Using your hand gives an illusion of taking more him inside your mouth than you actually are. Feel free to use lubrication on your hands as well to further enhance the sensation. Allow your hands and mouth to apply a little more pressure over time.

Use your tongue to tickle the head of the penis from the front. Licking or sucking this area can lead to many wonderful feelings. With this being performed a man can orgasm very quickly. Your mouth can tire easily so you can take breaks from licking and sucking to use your hands to manipulate the penis.

The Deep Throat Myth

One of the problems with deep throating the penis is the gag reflex. If the penis is too big it can make you have a choking sensation which is very unpleasant. First and foremost you must know that you do not need to deep throat your lover in order for you to be good at oral sex. Practice does make purpose when it comes to deep throating so when you are performing oral sex train yourself to take a little more each time and eventually you will get it. Men will always talk about deep throat but believe me when I tell you that it is not important to achieving great oral skills.

The Climax

There is no cut and dry rule on how to “finish”. Obviously if you plan on having intercourse you won’t want to ruin those prospects by bringing your partner to orgasm too quickly. Keep this in mind when you are spending time getting into it. Now if this oral sex session is just for his pleasure then there are several things to consider as your partner reaches orgasm. Like I said earlier there is no harm in swallowing semen. But the taste may not be something you care for and that can also be said about the consistency of it.

So what is a girl to do? You can allow him to finish on your mouth or face. Many men are excited and aroused by this act. I call it the porn star dream because men dream about being in adult films and that’s how 90% of them finish.

If a facial ending is not in the cards you can stop performing oral sex and switch to feverish stroking using your tongue on the head as you do so. At this point you can allow him to orgasm on your breasts. This is a safe and just as exciting stimulation. This is all about you and what you like and don’t or just not ready for so don’t let your partner persuade or force you to do something you don’t want to.

Hopefully your partner will be an upstanding guy (no pun intended) and will warn you when he is closing in on an orgasm. There are tell tale signs that you can look for when performing oral sex. If his breathing becomes shallow and erratic then he is closing in on an orgasm. The scrotum will also tighten when he’s about to orgasm and many of us will “shiver” or muscle spasm when about to finish.

Cold Trick

There is one trick to oral sex that works like a charm with nearly every man. The extreme temperature change from cold to hot can cause many men to burst. You can use an ice cube to run up and down his shaft. You may also put ice chips in your mouth as you perform oral sex. Combining the pressure with the cold only serves to increase your partners’ pleasure while allowing him to hold out longer.

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