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Relationships can relinquish the spark quite rapidly in the bedroom. This is what leads many couples down the break up road or cheating. Fantasies are a very healthy release and a great way to rekindle what once was there. Think of it as entering a brand new part of your life in a more sexually free lifestyle with the person that you love. A fantasy can come from any place in your imagination – some deep need, want or desire to do SOMETHING out of the ordinary. When the person you are with trusts you enough to share their fantasy with you then you are one lucky person.

Your fantasy can come from almost anywhere in the deep recesses of your mind. You can have a very vivid dream and you remember and then from that you have a fantasy seed planted that keeps growing. If you are with someone that is passive and suddenly they take charge by pushing you to the floor to ravage you wouldn’t that be exciting and new? Of course it would be! Maybe you are used to just laying down and getting it over with but now your lover wants to be more romantic, slow and methodical with how they make love. This is a welcomed change to the usual in, out and over routine previously. Your fantasy cold also involve toys, certain clothing and different settings. Roleplaying is also often utilized in your fantasy ideas.

Never let your partner’s fantasy upset you. This does not mean that you are inadequate! It just simply means they want to try something new and different inside the bedroom. I’m sure you would have some fantasies to share as well and now the door is open. Sharing your fantasies with someone is an ultimate showing of trust. Just be open with your partner and ask questions about their fantasy – learn more about it. If the fantasy doesn’t suit you for some reason then voice it and maybe you can come to an alternate idea that will be equally as satisfying.

So Just What is a Fantasy?

When one is first asked this question you may have visions of sugar plum fairies dancing in your head. You may think Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter but this isn’t the type of fantasy that you want to think about (or at least I hope not). A sexual fantasy can be pretty much anything outside of the normal character realm of the person doing imagining. There are many desires that we as human beings have as well as being very curious about certain things. We all have a sex fantasy at some point – it’s natural. The fantasy you dream about could mundane yet different for you like sex on a beach at sunset. Sure it’s romantic, not very original, but a fantasy regardless. On the other side of the coin you may fantasy about being in the middle of an orgy. A fantasy allows you to own your thoughts and desires and makes you able to take control over them in the “real” world. Some fantasies, obviously, won’t be fulfilled due to their nature or possible safety issues.

Women are notorious for thinking that they are immune to the sexual fantasy (as well as masturbating among other things). This, however, is not remotely the case as a woman can have fantasies just as much as us men. These women that claim to have never had a sexual fantasy most likely have had them but neglected to think they were at all sexual. When we fantasize it usually leads to masturbating to relieve the stress. Exploring the fantasies of your lover takes trust. You need to be really open with each other in order to fully share your wants, needs and desires. Be honest and loving when it’s brought up and don’t get offended by them.

Sexual Fantasies and Making Them Work

When you and your partner set out to follow through on a fantasy you have to begin by researching the fantasy by way of discussing it with your partner. Ask questions and learn what you can about their desire in as much detail as you can muster. When you have all the details and you are comfortable with them it is time to create a “date” to follow through with the fantasy unless doing it on a whim will prove to be more exciting for you. When you can plan your fantasy date you can be assured complete privacy. You’ll be able to rent a room or get a sitter for the children. You can turn off your cell phones or take the phone off the hook. Nothing sucks more than getting into it then being interrupted.

Depending on your partner it may not take anything more than a bubble bath, candles and some rose petals. On the other side of the coin you may need to do some searching for props or special toys. Just be sure that every item is accounted for in order to fulfill the fantasy as intended. If you are planning a day of bondage make sure you have the handcuffs. If you want to play naughty schoolgirl or jailhouse slut then be sure you have the right costumes.

A Word of Caution

Remember that there as many different fantasies as there are people. You should always trust your own personal judgment when entering into fantasy play. Don’t go against your own personal values or beliefs if you really don’t wish to. If you have concerns over a particular fantasy please voice your concerns with your lover. There are some things that we all must draw the line at. There is no need to take risks to “get off” which can also include potentially ruining your relationship. If your fantasy is to have a threesome just don’t come home with a third person because without telling your other half your plans you are just cheating. Don’t set up your plain vanilla bedroom into a dark torture chamber while your husband is out getting ice cream. The goal here is to enhance your sex life with your lover and not kill it so always think before you act.